𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖘 ~

 

Have you ever had a dream that looks so humongous that you feel stupid to even think you can achieve it?  

Hello dear people, this is Eso right here! 

Forget it- little Eso's got no idea what she is talking about. I mean, if you had told the last year October me that things could get worse than what they were after losing my best friend, my grandmother, she would've scoffed her face off at you. 

That's what it was. But eh, this is me here. The older Eso? I don't know. 

The person who's lost two more family members since then, almost failed her exams(the old me would have a heart attack right then and there), is sitting for the same grade again after being a topper for most of her little life, and now, is thinking of dreams that look like too big mountains to be a beginner hiker who's never climbed before.

But, well, what is a person without imagination and dreams? And so here I am. 

I am not little Eso anymore. 

Hi, meet me, Shipra Agrawal, a soon to be 16 teenage girl from India, who has undiagnosed ADHD, phobia of heights, a real wild imagination, and a will that is weaker than a toddler's. 

I have expensive tastes, no money to spend, no will to live and yet so, so many dreams I want to complete. 

I am a girl, I am that person, who looks up to the sky and takes heavy sighs before continuing with the exhausting saga that is my life.

I am an eldest daughter with people pleasing tendencies and more care for others than I'll ever give to myself. I help my mother with household chores, I feel sad and helpless seeing my father work everyday without rest, I get frustrated with my spoiled siblings and try to guide them, which is, fruitless till now. 

I love with all I am, I wear my heart on my sleeve and yet the only one who gets to see my emotions is my very sweet and brave pillow. 

I am the girl who wants to be loved, but is scared of it. Who wants to have friends but wants no heartbreak. Who is willing to put in effort till her last breath but gives up too easily. 

I am everything I want to get out of. 

I am everything I hate and yet I am everything I have.

So meet this girl, who has got her little Eso dead inside long ago, and yet dares to dream. 

Yes, I dare to dream. 

Yes, I dare to live because I am scared of death. Of leaving everyone behind. 

But this dream seems too big this time. I don't know if I've got it in me to fulfil this one. 

I am Shipra Agrawal, a girl who is torn between loving and being scared of her father if he found out what I do, a girl who has dreams to be an author and yet no one she can go to and tell about her dreams. 

I am little Eso. But little Eso is not me. 

I have a dream to be a published author one day. In fact, it was today when I actually had this dream. I have always loved to write. I have been writing since I was 9. It started when my school library introduced me to Shakespeare with a small book with barely a hundred pages. 

It was a frail book, its pages so torn and battered it was barely there. It was an old book. It was where I found my passion. Where I found what reading meant in real. 

Well of course it was a matter of days before Covid came and- and the library never opened again. 

But that well of curiosity did not go away. 

Almost Seven years later and here I am, an avid reader who thinks 800k word long books are normal and wants to write her own franchise one day. 

It is me.

It is little Eso.

It is everything I have ever wanted to be and yet feared of. 

It is me against my dear life which has never given me break. 

Come with me then, On my journey of seeing if I can take just a bit more or if I will finally give up. 

Come with me on a journey to the peaks of my dreams.

~ 🔹𝖊𝖘𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖈🔹